Imagine yourself in church, and as the service starts, a young couple sits down in front of you. You are a bit surprised to see them in church, because you know one of them from work. He is not the kind of guy you think would come to church. But here he is!
As the service starts, the worship leader invites everybody to stand and greet those around them. You do, and warmly greet the couple in front of you. The guy you know from work says they came because you are always talking about how great your church is. You are excited he came because of that, but are a little nervous because you know he isn’t the church type. The couple isn’t married, but is very sexually active, and don’t have any qualms about public displays of affection. You hope they don’t hold hands or kiss during the service.
But wouldn’t you know it…as the music starts, each puts one arm around the other and they hold each other close. Then, after a few minutes, they start holding hands. You look around nervously. Not even many married people hold hands when they are in your church, and you are afraid how this couple’s affection will be taken, especially since you know most people know that they are not married.
During the sermon, they sit close enough to each other that they are touching, but that’s about it. After the service is over, they turn around to greet you again, and say, “You were right! We really liked attending here. I think we will come again next week.”
What would you say to them? Who would you introduce them to? Would you tell them to not hold hands next week? Would you tell them about a six-inch rule for unmarried couples? Would you tell them that sex before marriage was a sin and God did not approve of fornication?
Oh, and before you answer, I forgot to tell you… The couple is gay. It’s two guys. Now, with that information, what would you say?
(I got this from another blog. I've been talking about inviting people to church, so I think this is relevant. I really want to know your answer, so please leave your response by clicking the "comments" below. I'll tell you where I get this from later because I don't want you to read people's responses there.)
Monday, September 24, 2007
What would you say?
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14 comments:
HA!HA! Daniel, you are one hilarious guy! At first, when I thought the couple were a guy and a girl, I didn't think anything of it because Ming and I and the girls are kinda affectionate towards each other and kiss and hug often regardless of whether we are in public view or not. If a guy and girl sitting in front of me gave the other I peck on the cheek, I would think, aww.. how sweet. Anything beyond that I would lift an eyebrow. If they started frenchkissing my jaw would drop. But then again, I don't think anyone would do that in the middle of a church service. I think affection shown anywhere ( if it doesn't warrant you liable for a jail sentence of course!) to the extent of a hug and a quick kiss on the lips is quiet acceptable, even in church. Am I going a little pass your comfort zone, Pastor D?
So, my point of view is that if I knew the couple and they were gay and they were how you described, I wouldn't say anything to them regarding what's acceptable and what's not. It's not for me to judge and yes, I would introduce them to you and know you wouldn't judge them either. I would try to make them feel as welcome as I can.
Carol, you haven't even come near my comfort zone. I kiss my wife in church all the time. But I don't like anybody else to do it. ;-)
I think their interest to like the church is a good start. Give 'em a warm welcome and accept them for who they are. my rule is, no judging, even though i know its not right! Let them know Christ better and stronger and let the Holy Spirit move and work among them. Of course Im talking about interceeding beforehand. Once they develop their interest to become Christ's follower id be happy to be their mentor. Hmm....Am i going a little bit too far?
Or, alternatively, Id explain the whole story to my 'Messy Pastor', and say " err...Thats your resposibility HA HA, catch you later!!"
If they were to impose their beliefs then I would tell them that I don't support it personally.
But I think in that situation its best to look inside you and actually speak to God about your discomfort if that is in fact what you feel.
Cause I'm sure that if we would allow God's counsel in such a situation then somehow some grace can come through.
interesting.. interesting.. first of all, i'm okay with being affectionate in church, heck, i consider myself as an affectionate person, whether i realise it or not, holding hands, hugging, I do it all the time, especially to those tat I feel close to.. when i see couples holding hands in church, i'll be like, man, that's sooo sweet.. especially if they're older couples.. aaaww..
nowadays I do feel that people are becoming more distant and cold towards one another.. i mean, wat are the common ways for you to show ur feelings? sms? email? cards? what ever happen to good ol pat in the back, or a warm hug?
Anywaaaaaaaayss.. that's beside the point.. the point that I got from the blog is these two people are obviously newcomers to the church, well to that church at least. One of the coolest pastors that I know of taught me that Jesus attracts the sinners and the lost.. (*wink2) and they are attracted to Him, so following His ways, I think we should make ourselves as attractive and WELCOMING to them as well.. why not? at least they've done the first terrifying step; to check out a church. Why do we have to stop their path or make it harder? I think we have to remember that when dealing with unbelievers (or new believers), we can't judge them by their present behaviour.. but working so that one day they will accept Christ. I read a quote that says 'as you know, people aren’t saved and given new life by virtue of changed moral patterns. This is a matter of higher priorities taking precedence over lower ones'.. and I couldn't agree more to that. so yeah, bring it on.. welcome to church guys..! :)
i would re-evaluate what i was doing in a ceremony watching a gay couple :S when i go to "church" i would expect to listen to God and what he has to say, not what my thoughts are.
would i do all of the above as mentioned ?
why not... regardless of thier sexual prefrence, they are still human beings. therefore still creations of God.
And as such beings..still deserve a chance that all sinners get.
I believe God loves us regardless our stupid decisions in the past, strength and weaknesses, even sexual preferences.
So I would say, "Hi, welcome!" and give them my warmest smile and yes, introduce them to everyone.
As we all know, "Likes attract likes", so when the gay couple said that they liked being in our church, that automatically explained how similar all of us is. It's like we're naturally 'assigned' to help them seeing The Truth meet their needs.
We are all sinners who live by Grace, and loved by the everlasting God. Each of us should help each other to grow more like Jesus, in any aspects of life.
We all made our bad (or should I say worst) decisions, but what's more important is whether we choose to dwell in those things, or to change (Yea, I know this part is tricky).
But as the Bible says, all things are possible. Let's do our part to minister into their lives!
After reading that article, it makes me realise something. Before I make an attempt to connect to my work colleague and his friend, I'd first go and evaluate my attitude. What makes me suddenly become timid and uncomfortable. If they were a more churchy mainstream kind, would I be less nervous?
Why wouldnt my attitude be, "Great! They are here!" No matter what?
Why would my mind suddenly switch to "law-thoughts" (ie, not many people would hold hands, they are not married but sexually active) instead of "grace thoughts" (ie. wow my colleague and friends are finally getting the taste of the loving and redeeming God?). I would ask this again, "If they were a more churchy mainstream kind, would I be less nervous?"
Then I'd go to you Bro and seek counsel on how to change my thought-world. Homework for ya ...
Storm of the Century
Great story!
Our Lord Jesus Christ came not for the righteous but for the unrighteous. And His sacrifice was made once and for all, the righteous for the unrighteous.
All of us are sinners, none are perfect. If God can beckon to us and welcome us into His kingdom, who are we to reject those who might be in sin but are interested enough to attend church?
I'd take it as a chance to minister to them and show them God's love.
Hi all,
Thank you for taking time and leaving your comments. This is by far the most comments I received from a post. I'm also very encouraged by the amount of love and acceptance you would have shown had this really happened in church.
I'm not sure if it means Christians today have higher level of tolerance toward "sin" or it means Christians today are more understanding of the role a church should play in winning the lost, and that is showing the unconditional love of Jesus Christ and not make certain "behaviour modification" a requirement for church attendance and God forbid, a requirement to become a Christian.
I'm a man of faith. I believe you guys belong to the latter group. :-)
As Christians, we are not called to be tolerant of sin period! We are to hate sin because God hates it! I am appalled at everything I read here!
I am not singling anyone (or any particular sin) out but if you see someone who is in known sin, it is your DUTY to tell them, to let them know that it IS sin and that they must repent. THAT'S true, agape love. What you guys are preaching is in fact HATE!!!!! Shame on you!
You are not showing love by supporting their sin. The Bible says homosexuals (along with a long list of others) will NOT inherit the kingdom. Do you want to be responsible for that all because you wanted to 'show them love', and 'not judge them'? Bringing to light their sin IS love.
I'm not saying kick them out of church (assuming they don't know their relationship is against God). But once you tell them and if they REFUSE to submit to what God says, and you take it to the elders and they speak to them, and they STILL refuse, then they should be thrown out. This is Biblical - do I have to get the verse?
The church is supposed to be holy, sacred, set apart from the world. It is for believers only - not a place for mingling the darkness with light because the Bible says we have nothing in common with darkness.
I agree with Carol!
The original message intentionally leads us into thinking it was a male/female couple and then at the end the author twisted it into a "gotcha".
Did the author intend to make the gay couple morally equal to a heterosexual couple?
If the gay couple wants to attend your church they should respect the biblical principles of the church and not openly demonstrate their sin in a worship service.
God absolutely abhores homosexuality and strongly condemns it. Who are we to condone it?
For all of the responders who said it is not for them to "judge" I say grow a spine! Scripture condemns those who smile and accept sexual sin (see !st Corinthians) Political correctness is killing the church!
If the gay couple want to follow Christ they absolutely must give up their "lifestyle". Turning from sin is mandatory for Christians.
I agree with Carol regarding gays or homosexual. God have condemned it in his Word and have acted on it (remember Sodom n Gomorrah).
It is not a new alternative lifestyle issue, the issue goes back to thousand of years.
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